We shape each other on a daily basis. Human interactions are what makes us who we are by a great measure. It's always been so. And it doesn;t look like our neurology will evolve beyond our need for connection. Some of us might have been born into families where for different reasons, we were led to conclude that adopting a people pleasing model to go through life is the safest option to stay connected with parents, siblings, authority figures. I would love us to hold space with each other and exchange our stories, beliefs and needs without trying to change or enforce anything on each other. Let's discuss and help each other hunt some Brules. This is where growth begins. By identifying the source of the issue. Or at least by finding some small clue that might push us toward the right direction in our (inter)personal and spiritual growth. Once a BRULE is brought to your awareness and you start questioning it, it slowly stops having power over you <3! --- No preparation is required for this event. However, if you would like to watch some resources in advance, the link below is recommended: Here is the Matthew Hussey's video titled: How to Stop Being a People Pleaser? For the purpose of having intimate and free flowing discussion, this event is for up to 10 people. If you are a newbie to Mindvalley and the concept of a BRULE isn't familiar to you, please refer to the following definition coined by Vishen Lakhiani: "A Brule is a bullshit rule that society adopts to simplify its understanding of the world."
And then... as grown ups we copy paste such model of interacting into our intimate relationships, friendships, etc.
People pleasing is a coping style. It is usually an approach used for control and manipulation, oftenly existing in codependent relationships, but not necessarily.
People pleasing is doing things that you don't want, saying YES to proposals and situations for which you deep down know you should say NO to. It is not about being aligned with your own values, beliefs, deal breakers and preferences. This coping style is usually motivated by the fear of abandonment, neglect and isolation.
Do you recognize yourself in people pleasing patterns? Would you like to dig in and discover some brules that might have led you to adopt such coping style?
---
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EB3VzRa1v_c
To facilitate our discussion, please feel free to think of a few events and relevant limiting beliefs that might hold you back from being authentically nice to others, rather than people please.
If you don't have time to do it, you can just come and get into the flow of sharing. You might be surprised at the power of your inner wisdom ;)
---
P. s.:
NabuMinds
Local Host, Estonia
Loovelu OÜ
Local Coordinator, Tallinn
Local Coordinator, Tallinn
Turunduskoolitus OÜ
Mindvalley Local Host, Tallinn
Bolt Technologies OÜ
Mindvalley Local Host, Tallinn
Wisdom Discovery
Community Manager, Mindvalley
Host